Acne

Because he's a caveman and can't be trusted to be at home alone with Emily for a couple hours after school, Blake goes to the YMCA Kid's Club when school gets out everyday. Then I pick him up in the gym when I get off work. It's sort of expensive when you think about the fact he's only there for 12.5 hours a week but we don't have any other choice and it's only until Adam gets laid off this winter.

So yesterday I picked Blake up and he seemed kinda run down, kinda tired. I asked him what was wrong and he said they made him play "The Screaming Game." Sounds like something I play in my head about three or four times a day at work. He said basically they scream and run around and that he didn't want to do it but the lady told him, "I didn't ask you if you WANT to I said you HAD to."

"Screw you, 19 year-old chubby girl!" is what I thought in my head. Blake said it gave him a sore throat,  a headache and made it kinda hard for him to breathe. (Just before the end of the school year, Blake was diagnosed with activity-induced asthma. It's not usually an issue but he occasionally has trouble breathing when he's running around.) When we got home he said he still felt yucky so I said, "You know what? Next time that girl tells you you HAVE to play tell her your mother said you don't have to because last time it made your throat hurt and it was hard for you to breath afterwards because you have asthma." I said, "Don't say it like some snobby kid, just tell her nicely and ask if you can just sit in the corner quietly while they play."

Flash forward to this morning. Blake's second mother, my 10 year-old daughter Emily said, "Now Blake, if they ask you to play the screaming game, what are you going to tell them?"

"My mom said I don't have to because it makes my throat hurt and plus I have acne."

Lemme  know how that works out for ya, buddy!

memory

I've been reading a blog a young woman has been writing; a woman who's husband drown just a year ago. He was only 34 or 35 and a famous cellist who played with John Mayer, Coldplay, Katy Perry to name a few. I've posted the link to that blog here before. Today I was catching up on the last couple days of her posts and something she said struck me:

We thoroughly critiqued each movie that we saw afterwards but I had a very bad memory in that I never remembered which movies I had already seen.  You were in charge of telling me, "You already saw that...don't you remember?"


That's totally Adam and I. I RARELY remember movies I've seen. I'll always ask him, "Have I seen that?" "Yeah, don't you remember? They were stuck up on that ski lift and there were the wolves and stuff??" "Ooooh yeaaaahhh!!!" Sometimes we need to rely on others in ways we don't realize. Thanks Adam.

Check it out!

My pal Allie over at http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/ is having a contest to try out COVERGIRL's new LashPerfection mascara. Go check it out. You won't win, because I'm planning on winning but you can dream, I guess. lol

http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/2011/10/review-and-giveaway-covergirl.html

10 Years

This weekend I was gathering up laundry in the bedroom when I came across a box of pictures that I had shoved under the bed long ago. They were all (or mostly all) pictures of Emily when she was about two. Looking at all of those pictures and knowing she was turning 10 on Monday I realized they represented a lot of hopes and dreams I have for my little girl. (Don't tell her I just called her a 'little girl'. I called her that earlier today and was promptly scolded)

So, in honor of Miss Emily Rainn Warren turning 10, here are a small sample of those pictures and my hopes for her.

Even though you're no longer going to be taking any dance classes this year, I still hope you take the time to dance. Dance by yourself, dance with your friends, dance with your daddy, but just dance. Like the saying goes, "Dance like no one's watching."

It's cheesy, but I hope you take the time to stop and smell the flowers. Don't rush through life, just wasting time waiting to be in high school, or in college, or out on your own, married, having babies, or whatever the next goal you want for yourself may be because pretty soon you'll look back and wonder where all the time went and you'll wish you would have done this or that or enjoyed more moments. Enjoy your moments, no matter how small.

 The world is a big, scary place but your parents will always be there next to you, supporting you, no matter what.

I'm sorry we ruined Twinkies for you last year by giving you one of those "Shrek" Twinkies with the green creme filling. They totally freaked you out and you hate Twinkies now. I hope you can love them again. (Sorry also to my best pal Tanya Jo! She loves Twinkies and is probably cursing me for doing such a horrible thing to an innocent snack cake.) 

I hope you always have a caring spirit that wants to take care of others, no matter how small.

I hope you always love the simple things in life like Nemo balloons and early morning Sesame Street. 

May you never lose the excitement of a really cute pair of shoes.

I hope you always enjoy nature and enjoy learning about science and all those things I thought were lame and boring. Learn everything you can about anything. You never know when you'll need to know it.

I hope you take the time to relax and enjoy yourself once in a while. Soon your life is going to get even more crazy with friends, activities and social engagements that you think you can't miss out on and before you know it you're all grown up and wishing you could go back to this moment. Take advantage of naps. ;)

...at the same time, take the time to spread your wings and explore. Be adventurous. Don't look back and wish you would have done more while you were more of a free spirit. Fly.

I hope we've made you happy as you've made us. 

I hope you'll always remember how to laugh and have a good time. You have THE BEST sense of humor and it's something that can easily get lost. Nothing ever needs to be taken so seriously that you can't smile about it.

Now, and this is the most important thing I could ever express to you. No matter WHAT happens, I'm always a phone call away. Call your mother. Always. 

Happy Birthday Emily Rainn Warren!! I love you!!

(September 15, 2001. Emily and I getting ready to go home from the hospital)

Sad, pissed, hurt and disappointed

A few weeks ago I found out that one of my co-workers, we'll call her "Beth" has breast cancer. She is my age, had a baby last year and has another two boys that I would guess are under the age of 11. She beat breast cancer before 5 years ago and was looking to fight the good fight again. Last week she went to the Cancer Center in Chicago to find out exactly was going on in her body and start a game plan and treatment. Yesterday was her first day back to work. Unfortunately she had to leave ill due to the effects of the chemo she was given in Chicago. This morning I found out her cancer is stage 4, it has spread to her lungs, her liver, her bones and two other places that I don't even remember. This is not a fight she will likely win. I was heartbroken. I don't work with her often, mostly in passing and usually that only happens once every couple months but ours is a small department and we are all close.

Our department lead is a 25 year old "girl" who I used to have a lot of respect for. I don't always believe in the way she deals with things in her personal life, such as buying $80 swimsuits for her 5 year old, simply because they're Burberry (yes, she is a name-brand whore) and she smothers her two kids to the point that they will most likely hate her by the time they reach 12. (for example, she won't let her daughter eat lunch by herself at school because she--and I quote--"doesn't think a baby should have to eat lunch without her mommy." WTF, people???) but I digress. How she runs her personal life and raises her kids are her business, I only have to hear about it when we work together.

So my 25 year old "boss" doesn't like "Beth". She never has. She was hired just as my boss was coming into the department so she never really had a say when she was hired. "Beth" is not rich, by any means. She wears clothes that are either homemade or are pretty obviously old and outdated. She does not look sloppy. She comes to work clean and tidy but she doesn't not wear name brands. (oh the horror!) But guess what? Neither does anyone else in our office! At every opportunity my boss is given she gives "Beth" as much shit as possible. Things everyone else in the department gets away with, "Beth" does not. Keep in mind, "Beth" is not full-time. She works 4 days a pay period, just like me and also has another part-time job somewhere else where she does similar work as we do in the Switchboard. She's a nice person who was just dealt a very shitty hand.

When "Beth" found out she had cancer she told our boss and she also told her she was going to Chicago for treatment. With the way "Beth's" schedule works, she was basically going to have to miss one of her scheduled days for her trip to Chicago last week, but she had Earned Time to use in it's place. This shouldn't be a problem. Quite honestly our department could probably make due without "Beth" on the schedule but it works out a lot better with her there. We would just be shorthanded occasionally. Our supervisor didn't take this well though and called her at home and just ripped into her. Actually yelling at her and telling her she didn't have anyone to cover her. Why would you treat someone who just found out they have cancer like that you ask? Because my 25 year old boss doesn't think "Beth" has cancer. She has told a couple people in the department that she thinks she is lying. Who lies about that kind of thing???

Flash forward to yesterday when "Beth" came in for her first day back to work. She ended up having to leave early, as I said, because of the chemo treatment she received in Chicago. She called our boss at home and also explained to her the extent of her illness. Immediately after hanging up with "Beth" my boss called Employee Health about "Beth's" so-called illness.

Outing an employee's illness to Employee Health is a lot like telling your Nazi neighbors that your very Jewish friends are coming over for dinner tomorrow night at 7:00. Ok, maybe that's a little over the top but seriously, was that phone call necessary?? She did it because she doesn't believe "Beth" and wants her to have to prove herself. She's basically trying to shove her out of the department. What did Employee Health do? They immediately called "Beth" at home and told her she had two choices, 1. Keep working her scheduled days with no issues. 2. Quit. They said she does not qualify for FMLA because she is part-time and that if she can't work when she is scheduled then she doesn't need to return to work. WHAT. THE. FUCK??

Until about an hour ago I loved the company I work for. I really thought it was a great place to work that took care of it's employees. How can I support a hospital that would treat what is basically a terminally ill employee so badly? If we can't take care of our own, how are we taking care of our patients? I am sad, I am pissed, I am hurt and I am disappointed.

sad

Not long after I started at Trinity in 2006 I happened upon a blog quite accidentally. The author lives in Canada and had been writing his blog for several years (the blog recently turned 10) but he had just found out that he had colon cancer. This was in 2007. Most of his posts after that were about his fight with that cancer, but he was also able to blog about the things he loved blogging about, which was music, photography and techy/geeky crap, which quite honestly I had no interest in. It was his fight with cancer and most of his posts about music that interested me.

I never put it in my blogroll so his blog was one I normally only read at work whenever it crossed my mind to do so. In November of last year he realized he would not be winning his fight with cancer so he decided to stop his treatments. He started writing about death and what was happening to his body. I sort of put his blog out of my mind for a while and had a panic earlier tonight at work when I realized it had been a couple of months since I had read it. Sadly, on May 3rd, he passed away. His last post (besides one he had written to be posted after he died) was on April 27th. I had to go back to the last post I had read and start reading until what I knew was his last post. He left a wife of 23 years and two daughters.

What I know about Derek from reading his blog is that he was not afraid to die. Sad, of course that he would be leaving his family and that he would be missing out on all of the things that they will experience in life from this moment on, but not afraid. He was a man of science, studying biology so he knows that dying is a natural course of nature.

One of his lasts posts struck me as he talked about one of my favorite artists, Adele. He had been listening to her new album, which is simply fantastic, and was struck by one of her songs for his own reasons. You can read this post here:

Derek K. Miller

I have known since he posted back in November that he was ceasing his treatments that he would one day pass, but I had no idea how sad it would make me feel. A man I never even knew. I feel sad for his daughters who will not have their dad there with them through life. I feel sad for his wife who has lost the partner she has shared over half of her life with. Fuck cancer.

Love is a Battlefield...and so is Emily's room.

Today I recreated the final dance scene from the "Love Is A Battlefield" video for Adam while we were emptying Emily's room of all of her prized possessions. (More on that in a bit). Of course then I had to go watch the video on YouTube and then write a recap of the video for my Facebook friends because I think they count on me for these kinds of things. At least that's what I pretend. Now, I'm going to do the same for you:

Here is the word for word recap I posted to FB:

In case you forgot what the final dance scene in this video was like it starts at 3:20. If you need a little background, Pat Benetar is a 32 year old woman playing a 17 year old girl who gets kicked out of her house by her father who is a butcher played by Trey Wilson, who looks like Gny St. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket, but isn't. Pat then wanders the street in cool 80's/hooker clothes and finally lands a gig in a sweaty club as some sort of girl who dances with dudes while having a wishful/bored look on her face. Also, she writes letters to her little brother back home via snail mail. It's at this point the final dance scene begins when Pat and all of the other bored hooker clothing clad dancers start group dancing towards the club owner in some sort of angry "you can't tell us what to do because we have this dance thing and can snap our fingers" display. Pat declares "WE ARE YOUNG!" but really, they're all pushing 30. Pat throws a drink in the owner's face, they continue coming at him with their dance moves and then finally take their army to the street in 3x3 fashion. It's out here where they hug Pat good-bye and she hops on a bus going where...we do not know. Awesome video.

Now, regarding Emily's room. It's AWFUL. And I mean awful. It rivals any episode of Hoarders. So, last Monday I told her she had until this Monday to get it cleaned up or else we were packing everything up and storing it in the garage. At any point did Emily lift a finger last week to clean any of it? Nope. Are all of her toys, art supplies and the pile of earrings I found on a random piece of furniture now packed up and in the garage? Yep. Surprise!!! I don't know if she thought we were kidding but it turns out we weren't. She's gonna be so happy! Ok, maybe that's just us.