Memories of my mom

Twelve years ago today my mom passed away. I think about her all the time. She had wanted to be a grandma so badly and it’s so sad that she never got to see her grandkids. Whenever one of the kids does something funny, or naughty or unbelievable I think, OMG. If mom were still alive she would be cracking up right now. Or the times when Blake does something naughty (you know, like all the time) I can just hear her saying, “Oh no! He wouldn’t do that!! Not my little buddy! He’s such a sweetheart!” Don't get me wrong, there would have been times she would have called him a “little shit” because that’s just how she was. She cussed like a sailor and I loved it. She got a lot of slack for it from some of her brothers. They would tell her she shouldn’t cuss so much but that’s just how she was.

Sometimes the kids channel her, I swear. When Emily was about three she was at my sister’s house helping to decorate the Christmas tree. The whole time she just wanted to put on the tinsel, asking, “Is it time now?” Now is it time?” Finally when it was all said and done and the tinsel was on and the tree was lit up, Emily stood back and said, “God damn, that’s pretty!!”

Every time Adam gets a new tattoo, talks about a new tattoo, or starts stretching the holes in his ears I hear mom saying, “Oh god damn. Don’t do that! That makes my teeth itch just thinking about it.” She would hate it if you touched your pierced ears--gave her the creeps. “If God wanted me to have holes in my ears he would have given them to me at birth!”

When I told my friends I was dating Adam they would say, “Adam?? That guy with all the piercings.” When I brought him home to meet the family I had to call my sister to have her warn mom. I didn’t want her sitting there staring at him.

“Uuhhh…I just wanted to warn you guys…Adam has a few…piercings.”

“Ok.”

“Like not in his ears.”

“Um. Ok.”

“His eyebrow is pierced.”

“Yeah…”
"His tongue."
"Uh-huh."

“And his lip.”

“K…”

“Twice.”

“I better warn mom.”

I was expecting a phone call or two about Adam after that first meeting. To my amazement Mom loved him. In fact she never even looked at him weird at all. I was shocked. A few months later when I got a job offer an hour away from home I called my mom with the news I was moving. “But what will you do with poor little Adam?” was all she was concerned about. “Well I’m taking him with me.” I said. “Good.”

Two days before she passed away was Easter. She was in the hospital at OSF St. Francis in Peoria and Adam, my sister and I drove up to see her. Adam was having issues with his sinuses and had us stop on the way out of town to pick up some sinus meds. It wasn’t until we were almost all the way to the hospital that Adam confessed he had taken four pills, instead of the recommended two. We weren’t in the room for very long before he PASSED. OUT. I was sorta mad at him. I kicked him in the leg and told him to wake up. My mom said, “Leave him alone! He’s tired! Let him sleep!”

“He’s only sleeping cuz he took twice as many sinus pills as he was supposed to!”

“Well he must have really been feeling bad then to take that many. Let him sleep.”

She totally defended him.

Once he woke up my mom put him to work.
“Hey hon? Would you come over here and scratch my back? God, it itches so bad!”

Adam sat there for a half hour scratching her back and never complained. He must have known she stuck up for him when he was passed out for two hours. Lol

Whenever I think of my mom I usually think of that last day we saw her, but there are also so many other memories I have. Usually they involve her doing or saying something crazy.  One time back in high school my best friend came over to help us clean out the attic. I think she got paid with my mom’s lasagna. Anyway, once you were up there you would have to walk side step next to the hole where the stairs come down to get over to where my mom was cleaning and organizing. When you did this you also had to walk hunched over with your head facing down to the downstairs because of the slope in the roof. There goes my mom in front of us and she says, “Oh I hate this! It makes my twat quiver!”

We have a pretty big extended family. My mom had eight brothers and sisters so that made for a lot of nieces and nephews for her and a shit ton of cousins for me. I think most all of them have some sort of Aunt Norlene story. All of them probably involve a card game or something raunchy, yet hilarious that came out of her mouth. Mostly likely both at the same time. Our family is big into playing cards, usually for cash, so whenever there is a get-together it always ends with a game or five of something. My mom was hilarious to listen to when we would play cards. She'd whisper curse words at you whenever you'd throw her a rotten card, or pick up a card she wanted or needed, or if you'd win the hand, or if she plain old thought you sucked.

"Oh, well goddamn, thank you for the two! You're just too, too kind."

"You sonofabitch! I knew you'd pick up that card."

"Well shit, that's not gonna work."

"What the fuck did you play that for?"

"Well my hand has gone to shit."

"I might as well shove these fucking cards up my ass. They'd do me about as much good."

She'd play dirty too if she had to. A little cheat here and there she never thought anything of it.

My mom used to do crafts and then travel to craft shows with a small group of her friends that also did crafts. Mostly near the Chicago area. Almost every night she would stay up really late painting ceramic Christmas villages or haunted houses, or whatever and watch movies. Usually the same movies over and over. Rain Man, Steel Magnolias, and the made for TV movie, Elvis and Me were some of her favorites. We lived with my grandma, my mom's mom.

I was a teenager so whenever I was home I was usually in my room with the door shut. Not so much to avoid my mom but mostly to avoid my grandma. Teens and grandmas don't really mix well. At least not me and mine. Once my grandma would go to bed I would come out of my hiding place and sit out in the living room, and hang out with mom while she did her crafts. She would be watching tv, or a movie and usually I would read whatever V.C. Andrews book I was into at the time. Once I got my driver's license mom would say, "Hey Amy, wanna make a run for the border?" Then she'd hand over the keys to the car and some money and I'd go to Taco Bell. Those nights just sitting there reading a book and chatting about whatever with my mom I think are the moments I miss the most.

I've only been to my mom's grave once since she passed away and that was on the day I got married. My sister insisted on going to put a bunch of daffodil's on her grave. They were her favorite flower and I had them in all of my bouquets. I just can't go there. It's not where my mom is. My mom is in my heart and in the million different memories I have of her. I think she'd understand.